From Fear to Freedom

From the girl who feels like she jumped out of a plane with no parachute.

This first semester of college has been a roller coaster. Not the fun kind that makes you say “hey let’s do that again!” but the old, worn out, you think you aren’t going to make it off alive, kind. College has not been what I expected for myself. It is not like high school and unfortunately many people do not find me funny or charismatic. I’m way out of my element here and having a hard time adjusting. Honestly if I could pack up and move home…I would. But is that God’s plan for me? Did He place me here, in this town, in this Greek organization, to give up and go home? As much as I want to say yes, the answer is no. I’ve really been feeling a lot like Jonah lately, except my version of running from Nineveh is just hiding out in my dorm room. When God told Jonah to go he said ” oh heck no.” (maybe not those exact words but I picture it was along the same lines) I say no a lot too. I say no to going to class sometimes, no to going out to social events, but mainly no to God. I say no I’d rather stay in my comfort zone. I’d rather keep Your love to myself. I’d rather disobey You and be miserable than to say yes and live in Your freedom. But why? Why have I held myself back from His grace and freedom? Because of fear? Why would I rather live in fear than freedom? I honestly don’t know because freedom is obviously the better choice. But right now I’m feeling a lot like Jonah while he was in the whale. I feel a little alone, a whole lot confused, and definitely ready to give up. However I know I’m about to get spit out; I’m about to get blown way out of my comfort zone. I’m headed straight for my Nineveh. Now will there be bumps and times of hiding on the way? For sure, I’d count on it. But what is a little fear in comparison to the kingdom of God? Not even a speck of dust. So here is to no fear and no more hiding! Here is to fearlessly living out Christ in unapologetic love…for the Kingdom.

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John 8:36

xoxo caroline


One thought on “From Fear to Freedom

  1. Lorretta @Dancing On The Dash says:

    Sweeeeeet Caroline..

    This experience, this reality, this courage that can only come from God will be worth it in the long run. This is coming from someone who is about to pack up and move a world away and I’m almost 49 years old… same “feels” for the same reasons. To stay here in the “Boro would feel a little safer and be a whole lot easier. But God didn’t make me that way and ultimately, I’d miss out on something even better He has in store.

    You are experiencing something I call “The Break From Cliche-anity”. It’s where all those sweet, untried and untested churchy phrases are either forged into meaning in the fires of real life application, or they grow thin and pale like a faded bumper sticker on the back of a car you’re really afraid to drive in traffic or park anywhere cuz it might get a dent or scratch.

    Ride girl. Ride hard. Spend it all. This is good. Stay honest about your feelings and keep doing the next thing. Someday… you’re coming to visit me in the Republic of Georgia to do a little ministry. I just know it. ❤


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